Mediocre Monster Review

You are a horrible, cold-hearted bastard. Just think about the hundreds and thousands of innocent creatures that you’ve murdered over the years. The sheer amount of low-level monsters you’ve killed for having the temerity to defend their forest or homeland, previously enjoying just being alive. But no, the hero is coming through this way and he must slaughter every monster in sight no matter how weak. Just think about all those Caterpies lying there dead because you needed some precious experience points. All they wanted to do was climb some trees and eat some leafs.

But here’s the good news – you no longer need to feel bad, not that you did anyway, you psychotic son-of-a-bitch. No, because as it turns out RPG monsters aren’t as weak as you think they are. Take Gob, for example, the latest employee at ‘The Bestiary’. Every day he practices his status effects and hurt-faces so that he can pretend to die in the most convincing way as to prepare our hero for harder times.

Mediocre Monster puts you in his shoes, living in what was once a thriving 1990s RPG hamlet, The Grind. Modern times have brought it’s downfall with monsters tempted by the dazzling city lights offered by the mobile and FPS districts. The Grind has seen better days, especially since the village mayor spent it’s wealth on free-to-play games.

The game features a familiar turn-based battle system but flipped on its head. Know you know to win, you need to lose. On your way to 0 HP, you have a number of rules to comply with. For example, if one of the hero party taunts you, you have to attack him next. Your execution of these rules determine your weekly salary which you can spend on new skills, town upgrades and improvements, new buildings, training, and items. The hero party morale is also kept high by your performances in fulfilling their wants and needs (such as dropping rare loot).

By leveling up more heros, Gob can be promoted to ‘fight’ in new environments, once he’s swapped out his colour palette of course. Gob is a green goblin and obviously I don’t need to tell you, but the green goblin is the weakest of all the goblins. Change his palette to blue however, and Gob can now pretend to be an Ice Goblin.

You need to pre-order ($15) to get a digital copy of the game, due for release in April 2017.

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